Posts (page 2)

Today is Memorial day in the US.  DH is at work and I'm getting us ready for a different kind of memorial.  Next week we will 'celebrate' the life of DH's mother.  She was a WW 2 vet along with her husband.  In fact, they met because of WW2.  She was a radio operator stationed in SoCal and he was a B-24 pilot.  They met when she was a maid of honor for a friend and he was the best man.  After they met, he told his buddies to "leave her alone, I've got my eye on her" or words to that effect!  Anyhow, they married and had a wonderful family and life together.  They were married for 63 years.  Their wedding anniversary falls on the same day as my birthday, so sometimes there were joint celebrations.  So next week we are having a gathering of their friends and neighbors from the town they spent most of their married life in.  Things have changed a great deal since they moved to live with their daughter and husband, but I'm sure there will be many people coming around to honor her.  She was very involved in many local charities that took care of children in the area.  I'm sure she will be well remembered, not just as a loving wife and mother, but as a neighbor who could help you out in a pinch, cared for others less fortunate, and served her country in a time of need.

In other news of family and friends, our friends in NM have let us know that son #2 is on the mend.  He seems to be out of danger as far as the pneumonia is concerned.  Here's hoping for a speedy and complete recovery. 

Daughters will be with us this week to help honor their grandmother.  Looking forward to seeing old friends as well.  Seems so many of our young ones have been far flung.  One in service, (Hi Tanya), one in California just graduated (hi Amy) and our two off on the other side of the state.  Not to mention family all over the place, from Toronto to Hawai'i and everywhere in between. 

And then there are all the friends and neighbors in the blogosphere.  I regale my family here with your stories.  Yes, Flamingo Dancer, that means you!  And the rest of you as well.  It's nice to get a peek into some one else's view of the world and to realize that many of us think the same way about a lot of the world's troubles.  If only we could harness our vast array of talents and ideas to fix them.  Wouldn't you like to kick the Burma Junta in the collective ass?  I would.  Wouldn't you feed a hungry child or read them stories or play games with them?  I would.  How about giving GWB some public speaking lessons.  Hells yeah.  We could give fashion advice (she wore what??!!)  I'm just sayin', think of the good we could do.  Sorry, bit of a rant while waiting for laundry to finish.

BTW, something strange is happening at our house this spring.  Our new dog Bacchus (bocky for short) seems to be attracting a lot of attention from our magpies this year.  We usually have a couple of nests of them in the yard, but is the first spring here for Bocky and he is black and white, just like the magpies and they harass him wherever he goes.  They don't bother Buddha (would you, he does weigh over 150#), but I really think it's because of his coloring.  He can be sitting quitely minding his own business and ZAP, a magpie will tweak  his tail.  It is kind of fun to watch these intelligent birds trying to out fox him.  We have moved Bud and Sass across the street to lusher pastures.  I think they are in heaven.  The grass is tall enough to tickle Bud's belly and right now they are intent on eating the flower tops off of the stems before getting down to business.

Well, washer is done, guess I'll go throw the clothes into the dryer.  I know, uses too much electricity, but if I hang things outside, Buddha and Bocky will end up wearing them.  And quite frankly, they wouldn't look that good in boxer briefs!

Just when I thought things were settling down, DH gave me a call from work to let me know that son #2 of the family that just buried son #1 in NM, was stricken with some form of pneumonia and is in hospital.  For now, that is all we know.  What in the name of every deity is going on? 

Please, take of yourselves this weekend.  It looks like it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Okay, now that I've gotten my mournful and depressed thoughts off of my chest, I can get on to other, more pleasant things.  Like today. . .   DH and I actually went riding, not just in the pasture, but down on our other piece of property.  I picked a bad time to go, school was getting out and that meant lots of traffic, but what the heck, if we waited for the perfect time we'd never go.  This was the first time we had ridden Sassy out of the yard and we weren't sure what to expect.  She did great.  Even with me on her back, a rider who knows next to nothing.  We are having a bit of a communication problem though.  All my fault, because as I said, I know very little and she is, well, a race horse.  Consequently she doesn't really stop all that well.  I mean, she does stop, but not because I ask her to.  Not entirely.  So, we have to get that worked out.  What we really need is a big round pen that has no obstruction so we can put her on the longue line and work with her that way.  I can also see that I need riding lessons.  Big time.  But, it was still kind of fun.  On the way back to the pasture some people on bikes came up behind Bud.  Now, usually, Bud is as solid as a rock and damn near bullet proof.  But these caught him by surprise and he was headed for home whether Tom was willing to go along for the ride or not.  Not sure when we'll go again.  The weather has been so changable lately. 

Getting ready to head to Canada next month.  Should be a pretty good time.  Sounds like Angela and Mary will be there as well, so I will know some one!  This is during Fiber Week at the college and I'm looking forward to the vendors and exhibits.  When we were in NM a few days back I found a lovely Navajo spindle but it was too long to fit in the luggage.  Cousin's should be mailing it up.  Not much else.  Gonna go. 

Watched part of an interesting show on depression on PBS tonight.  I wished I had seen all of it.  Interesting thing, depression.  Mine is mostly controlled with meds.  I don't know how I made it as far as I did without them.  I had tried counseling and different meds, but none seemed to work until I got put on Effexor xr.  I would like to know though, exactly what the heck is going on with my brain.  I mean, I'm a fairly high functioning person.  But in the deepest darkest times, I couldn't get out of bed.  I would cry uncontrollably.  I felt worthless, less than worthless.  Some times people who didn't understand said I just needed to think happy.  I know it was tough on people around me.  I feel the worst for my kids.  Growing up with a mom that wasn't always there, even when she was.  I also think they are the reason I am still on this earth, walking and talking.  At least I know I was as good as a  mom as I could be and that I love my kids more than I can say.  Maybe this is true of my mom too.  And maybe her mom.  Even though I am at an age where I should let some of the hurts go, I still find myself angry about past hurts.  I saw some pix of my mother when she was a new wife and mother.  She had her hair pulled back, (like me), and she was barely 22 with two babies.  I don't know how she coped.  Maybe she didn't.  She looked unhappy.  She still lives in the same place where that picture was taken.  I wonder how she feels about living in the same place for so long.  She did move quite a bit as a child.  Her dad worked as a surveyor for the government and was always on the move.  I don't think it did my grandmother any good.  Or my mom. 

Off the track there for a moment. . .   Is there any one else out there that wants to know what the heck is happening inside their skull?  I mean, I see all of these interesting brain function tests and scans etc that show how a depressed brain is set up.  Would that help me to know for sure???  Are there brain chemical tests that can be done???  I just don't think I know enough about what is going on.  But I think that is just my personality.  I want to know as much as I can about things.  Once it was cars, marbling paper, tatting, photograph, now it is spinning yarn and horseback riding, who knows what it will be tomorrow.  Maybe brain chemistry.

This has been one hellova year so far.  We lost Vi, which to be honest, was expected and because of her suffering, a blessing.  Then we lost Alan.  So tragic.  But we have learned that he died with a smile on his face.  He never knew what hit him.  Literally.  I wish I had met him.  Through his family and friends I learned that he was a remarkable young man that died at the tender age of 23.  Too soon.  I can't imagine how hard it will be for Dan and Jean to go on.  And Michael, Lauren and baby Ryan.  One of the most moving eulogies I  have ever heard was given by Dan for his son.  His mother Jean sang "How Great Thou Art".  She has an amazing, classically trained voice.  I thought my heart would break.

Now, I have been thinking about what will happen when my time comes.  I have already made my wishes known to family members, but I probably should have it in writing somewhere.  But what I really want to talk about is the songs.  No dirges or hymns.  None of that for me.  Three came to mind. . .  "Please Don't Bury Me" by John Prine (look up the lyrics, you'll see why), Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" (I remember this came out when I was in the 7th grade)  and Iron Butterfly's "In A Godda Da Vida".  Maybe some Derek and the Dominoes, Stevie Ray Vaughn.  Nothing sad.  Hell, I don't even want any kind of marker.  One thing I know, we touch people and that a stone will not make them remember us more.  And when all of the people who remember us are gone, maybe they've told others about us.  If not, does it really matter in the whole scheme of things?  Not really.  Not really. 

I have been told that funerals are for the living.  I guess.  It seems weird that in this country we have gotten away from caring for our dead.  We leave it to strangers.  I think that is creepy.  I would rather have my love ones build a pyre for me than to let some stranger do it.  I know I am one of many who just can't quite wrap my head around exactly what happens when you die.  I mean, the whole conservation of matter and energy thing.  Do we really weigh 21 grams less when after we die?  Is that how much our energy weighs?  What the hell sparks us and what the hell snuffs it out? 

Maybe it is realizing that I'm closer now than ever to the big answer.  Sorry if this seems bizarre.  It's been weighing on my mind for some time.  Please, don't give me religious answers.  I am not a religious person.  I do consider myself spiritual however.  I have seen too many people hurt by their religions over the years.  Religions of all kinds too.  I am pretty sure there is something bigger than ourselves (no, not elephants) out there.  I get really angry about religion though.  I see people using the power it gives them to hurt and control others.  That's not cool.  No one should be in charge of how we connect to the Big Giant Head.  Or what ever it is. 

Well, rant over for now.  Hug who you love.  Keep them close. 

Sometimes life doesn't make sense.  Or should I say death.  This morning my DH got word that the 23 year old son of a close friend was killed in a freak accident.  He and a couple of buddies were up in the mountains pushing over trees and a 'snag' or what we in fire service call a 'widow maker' fell and killed him instantly.  Who is rolling the dice up there?  A vibrant light was snuffed out.  Why?  Can anyone give me an answer?  Who does one beseech in times like this?  God?  Allah? Jesus?  The All Encompassing Love Spirit?  My youngest is the same age as this young man.  I can not begin to imagine a world with out her in it.  How will this young man's parents cope?  Does time heal?  Does God hear us?  Is there a God that would let this happen?  Is it all a cosmic joke?  Some one, please tell me.

Hi all.  Happy Mother's Day.  Today dh is using the Brinkmann Gourmet Charcoal Smoker that daughter #1 found for us at V V a while ago.  We are cooking up a boneless chuck roast.  It looks good so far.

Dh has a ruptured eardrum and cannot hear on the right side.  Now he has an excuse when he says he didn't hear me say something.  Ha!!  It isn't getting better, so hopefully we can get in to see the dr tomorrow.  Looks like he made need surgery to fix things.  Daughter #2 had tubes put in her ears twice when she was very young.  It helped her with her hearing problems, let's hope it will work for DH as well. 

Last night we watched Sweeney Todd.  Hmmmm.  Johnny Depp was a good choice, but I still remember watching Angela Lansbury as Mrs Lovett and I'm not sure Helena BC did as good a job.  Oh well.  Also watched Syriana last night.  I liked the George Clooney character, and I liked the story, but it lacked a certain, dynamic, I think.  Maybe because we had just watched Michael Clayton earlier in the week.  Both excellent films.  We saw Cloverfield (hmmmm) and also watched Donnie Darko again.  I really like this film and wish that some of the deleted scenes had been left in, they explain some of the plot points (like placebos).  Tonight we will watch Juno.  DH has seen it and says it is pretty good.  Oh, we also watched Dan in Real Life.  Pretty good, predictable, but worth it to see Juliette Binoch.  She is such a good actress.  A while back there was a series of 3 films, Red, Blue and White.  She was in Blue.  Great movie.  The whole trilogy was great. 

For Mother's day my lovely daughters sent an hilarious card.  How they got the photo of their dad ( ;-)  is beyond me!!!  But they also sent some lovely pencil roving.  I can't wait to spin it up.  It has lovely long runs of color so I anticipate a Noro type of yarn.  That's about it for now.  Again, Happy Mother's Day.

Now that we own a thoroughbred ex race horse, I was horrified to hear that yesterday during the running of the Kentucky Derby Eight Belles had to be destroyed after thundering to second place because she shattered both of her front ankles.  My heart is broken.  Then, today, I was watching an equestrian event and they announced that the day before during competition two horses had to be destroyed due to injuries suffered on the course.  Many riders sustained serious injuries as well.  It's a bit of the feeling when I watch a movie where the main animal character dies.  I can't stand it.  Too much Ol' Yeller.

What was your first car?

Tr3a

My first car.  The first car I bought with my own money is a 1959 US Triumph TR3A that looks a lot like this.  Mine is a left hand drive of course.  I bought it in 1988 for $500.  Yes, you read it right.  It was in pretty bad cosmetic shape, but it  had been used in SCCA racing by the previous owner.  He had stripped every spare ounce off of the car.  Literally.  I restored it, from top to bottom, much to the chagrin of my young daughters.  I think they can appreciate it more now than they did back when they were very young.  I love this car.  It still has many of the racing components.  I don't have wire wheels on it, but the original aluminum wheels that were made for this car for racing.  It has a roll bar (not standard), an over bore on the cylinders (87mm), a street-comp cam (D cam), a Detroit Locker rear-end, recurved leaf springs so that it actually sits a bit lower than original (you can scrape knuckles on the pavement), oil cooler, and a solid walnut dash made by yours truly.  It is still red with black wool carpet and a white top.  It runs like a dream.  It is sooo much fun to drive.  I actually towed my dh's TR3A over Satus Pass (WA state) years ago when he lost a water pump on a Sunday afternoon drive.  I have driven it to shows all over the West Coast, mostly in Portland, but we did drive to Santa Barbara one year.  It was glorious.  Highway One down the California coast with our kids.  Great fun.  Anyway.  My first car.